By PAUL CARR

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Silence. Did it even work? Was buzzing too working class for this place? I pressed again. A few moments later the door opened with a barely audible click and I stepped inside, pulling the door firmly closed behind me. I was on the inside now. Safe. Just a smooth lift ride was all that remained between me and the fifth floor: the gateway to Perplex City. Everything inside Perplex City was overwhelming. The walls were painted a stark – almost blinding – white. Likewise the furniture – what little there was – and even the mugs in the kitchen were plain white.

The reality? The site was just some tacky window dress................. * I would have called it ‘Look! Jews talking’. † Other ways include: close eyes, throw rock, hit porn site. 36 Input Data Services Ltd 06-27-2008 09:03:33 Page 36 ORION Bringing Nothing to Party—PKY—234x153mm BRINGN0101 BRINGN Unit $$$1 ‘HELLO WORLD’ ing that Cohen had bolted on to an existing public-domain listing of hard- and soft-core smut. But there was still a boom on and, again, the press lapped it up. Everyone knew that sex sells, and lazy journalists could only speculate what adding an ‘adult’ arm to a company already ‘worth’ ‘five’ ‘million’ ‘pounds’ would do to its valuation.

Naturally, I hoped whatever new venture Michael was setting up would turn out to be awful, an idea so bad that, when it launched, he would be scandalised in the press, lose all of his money and perhaps even his youthful looks. I am, you’ll understand, the jealous type. ’ Putting down his orange juice – cunt – he reached into the pockets of his designer jeans and pulled out three or four brightly coloured pieces of cardboard, which looked to me a lot like giant trading cards. Each one had a different puzzle drawn on it: a maze, some kind of picture puzzle featuring a Manga-esque woman, a photograph of some biscuits, if I remember correctly.

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Bringing Nothing To The Party by PAUL CARR
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