By Joan Graham
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Additional resources for Any Wife Or Any Husband. A Book for Couples Who Have Met Sexual Difficulties and for Doctors
Example text
Many couples highly desire an orgasm which is mutually timed, hence this method may be particularly valuable. The position is of great use in many other cases of difficulty. For instance, when one or other partner is delicate, it offers less strain; when either partner is stout or where the wife has vaginal spasm it is very helpful, particularly if the wife facilitates her husband's entry by lifting the buttock with her hand. This position is advisable for use in the later months of pregnancy. Fear of clitoral touch is undoubtedly based on the fact that in childhood the clitoris is normally the organ of masturbation.
Every attempt she makes to improve the relationship is rejected as though she were a degrading seducer. Indeed her difficulties can be insuperable, for even if she can persuade her husband to override his unconscious standards he may, in some cases, suffer from great anxiety or even impotence. Sometimes discussion with a psychiatrist is the only possible solution, but it is not easy for a wife to influence her husband to take this step. Such types of difficulty, though they do not lend themselves to discussion or complaint, may be of far greater importance than a more straightforward sexual disability.
In other cases presumably unconscious anxiety of this sort may upset the mood, but such complaints are less likely to be made than those of a direct medical symptom. It is very easy for women with this disorder to think that their incapacity for orgasm must be due to external causes. " These natural doubts increase their unhappiness and sometimes lead to extra-marital experiment and again to disappointment. I have almost never heard of a woman having true orgasm inhibition with one partner but not with another; in fact, the more desirable the partner, as a rule the greater is the frustration experienced.